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WakeUp Illegal Disclaimers (provided for entertainment only)
Read and understand all instructions.
Do not use WakeUp while driving or operating heavy machinery.
WakeUp should not be used while you are in a bathtub, shower, or pool. Emersion of Wakeup could cause electrical shock.
Do not use WakeUp while sleeping, unless you intend to wake up.
Unplug this product from the wall outlet before cleaning.
Do not use liquid or aerosol cleaners on this product.
Never spill liquid of any kind on WakeUp.
Do not disassemble WakeUp. It has no user serviceable parts.
Never install or modify WakeUp during an electrical storm.
Do not use WakeUp to keep pets alert.
Do not use WakeUp to scare people (especially your boss).
Do not place WakeUp on an unstable cart, desk, stand, or table.
Use only the type and size of batteries specified in the user's manual.
Do not open or mutilate batteries. They may explode. Released electrolyte is corrosive and may cause damage to the eyes or skin. It may be toxic if swallowed.
WakeUp will not actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
Remove batteries from this product if stored for more than 30 days.
Use of WakeUp is not subject to FCC rules and regulations, especially Subpart E of Part 68, FCC Rules and Regulations.
WakeUp cannot be used without a personal computer, unless you have a dire need for more coasters and have a CD release copy.
WakeUp will work in any language, as long as it is English.
This product cannot be used to block telemarketing calls.
Do not attempt to press the Snooze bar on the screen - it is just a picture.
Do not turn upside down.
Depending on your use, WakeUp may or may not cause loss of sleep.
Chaos is all around us, don't think you're so special.
Specific WakeUp installations may contain cheese.
WakeUp is intended for external use only, and should not be ingested.
Do not refrigerate after opening. Doing so may cause excessive humidity.
Close cover before striking.
Do not break glass in case of emergency.
Do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate WakeUp.
Use only with proper ventilation.
Avoid contact with mucous membranes.
Not responsible for any lost or stolen data.
This product has not been tested on animals in a laboratory setting.
Keep away from sunlight, pets, open flames, moisture, and small children.
Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
If rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your physician.
Do not poke the bear.
WakeUp is not a significant source of dietary fiber.
If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.
WakeUp has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
It is not yet known whether WakeUp will extend your life or significantly improve your health.
Some settling may have occurred during shipping.
Excessive use of WakeUp may cause insomnia, drowsiness, tremors, numbness, headaches, earaches, and jitters.